October 30, 2020

How can I convince my daughter to ditch her lazy and controlling partner?

How can I convince my daughter to ditch her lazy and controlling partner?

DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter’s partner is lazy, selfish and controlling. They’re both in their thirties and have a little girl of seven.

My daughter is the main breadwinner and also the homemaker. Her partner just lounges around and drinks.

All my daughter's partner does is lounge around and drink

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All my daughter’s partner does is lounge around and drinkCredit: Alamy

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They argue non-stop and she often tells him to leave.

But she always takes him back a few days later after he has apologised.This has gone on for years.

I am the only person she confides in but I can’t stand it any longer and I told her this.

I feel guilty but is this the right approach?

DEIDRE SAYS: I can well understand how painful and frustrating it is to see your daughter endlessly take back a man you think is a waste of space.

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But please don’t stop being her shoulder to cry on. She needs you to offload on – but you can lessen your frustration if you accept that you can only sympathise, not resolve the situation.

My e-leaflet When Parents Don’t Get On will help her understand how damaging this relationship is for her daughter. That might give her the impetus to end it.

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